Monday, December 22, 2008

Honestly





We have been talking for awhile about writing a post about some of the more challenging aspects of our adoption journey. While we rejoice in God's goodness in bringing Moriah to us, we have also had some struggles. 

One of the hard things has been Moriah's attachment process to Andy. While we were in China, she didn't have a preference  for one of us over the other. That quickly changed when we got home. Andy returned to work, and Moriah decided she didn't really like all that coming and going. By the time he gets home, they are both tired and it is hard sometimes. I am ready for a break, but Moriah doesn't really want to have anything to do with her Daddy. It is interesting that on the weekends, she does much better. We know that this will improve over time as she learns that Daddy will always come home. Andy enjoys playing rough with the kids. The older ones know that is Daddy's way of playing and they love it. But I don't think Moriah knows what to do with that kind of play yet. He has had to change his approach to find things that she will allow him to do with her. She likes it when he gives her a bath or reads her a book.  Some days are better than others, but we are trusting the Lord to build this relationship over time.

Another challenge has been chasing down medical appointments and information. There are a lot of things going on with Moriah which have required multiple tests and appointments. It is interesting that her biggest medical concern, which involves her spine, was not in any of her paperwork. And her heart problem which was one of the major things in her paper work is a non issue.  We are glad to do whatever Moriah needs, of course, but this process has been tiring. 

And finally, in all honesty, I think we have struggled emotionally more than we expected. Sometimes it is painful to accept that Moriah had a life before we were her family. She will always bear some scars from the hardships of that life. We didn't know how intensely we would wonder about all that happened to her before she came to us.  We take comfort from the knowledge that God knew and that he saw her in her mother's womb and every day after that. He sovereignly cared for her and brought her to us. In this we rejoice! 

To end this slightly depressing post, I will include some funny pictures of the kids. This is what happens when I tried to get a good picture of all four of them.  God has been so good to us. We are so thankful that he chose us to parent this special little girl (and our other three). Each day we see His faithful provision for us. 

3 comments:

Football and Fried Rice said...

can I just say THANK YOU right now? Up front. And then we can get together and maybe you can hold my hair back while I cry??

I love the Lord for blessing me with Mya Jian..

The last 10 days has already been hard. I really want to start "beginning" - does that make sense????

Merry Christmas :)

Clay said...

I'm so happy she is with you finally. I brought our little blind boy to my home yesterday. He needs a little one on one. He has oral aversion and has become weaker and weaker. Please remember him. Just in 24 hours I've seen a more positive change. Yea. Miss Moriah but glad she is where she belongs. Love, Pam

Sarah said...

Just so you know from an outsider's perspective, this post is far from depressing. It acknowledges the difficulties associated w/adoption and all the while remembers God's hand in it. I found it refreshing. Thank you for your honesty!